Four, three, two, one

Listen up, ya'll, 'cause this is it
The numbers we're making are so vicious

Mathmaticious expeditious can be kind of scary
I hope my answers aren't radical or imaginary
I convert percents to fractions, it brings me some satisfaction
Like scientific notation and order of operations

Mathmaticious (repetitious)
Gets me expeditious
My answers may get vicious
My eraser's left in stitches
I make wishes (woo-ah)
I get the answer right, right
And I'll be staying up all night just to check what I write

Mathmaticious (The Pythagorean Theory)
Mathmaticious (Finds the hypotenuse for me)
Mathmaticious (Or I'll use trigonometry)
I'm Mathmaticious (d-d-d-d-d-decimal, decimal)

Locus of the points
Locus of the points
Locus of the points (points is echoing)

I'm up about figuring out greatest common factors
And when I make a pie chart I'm in need of a protractor
The angle of elevation, thanks to my calculations
Turns out to be 43, a prime number

I'm Mathmaticious (repetitious)
It makes me so ambitious
My answers are judicious
Calculator never glitches
It's my mission (deh deh deh den)
I get the answer right, right
And I'll be staying up all night just to check what I write

Mathmaticious (What's the probability?)
Mathmaticious (Of me not labeling my axis)
Mathmaticious (When graphing inequalities)
Mathmaticious (hold, hold, hold, hold, hold up, check your work)

Computing areas
Quadratic formula
Graphing parabolas
I think they're all so cool
It's my soul commitment
That I ace the Regents
Sine, cosine and tangent
Are my favorite tools

I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
Is it whole? Rational? Factor out, substitute, solve for x
Is it whole? Rational? Factor, factor, factor, hit the pi key

3.14159, 26535, 89793238, 462
6433832, 7950288419, 716, 939937,
510582, 097494, 459230, 78164,
062, 86208998628, 0348

Mathmaticious (repetitious)
Gets me expeditious
My answers may get vicious
My eraser's left in stitches
I make wishes (woo-ah)
I get the answer right, right
And I'll be staying up all night just to check what I write (write, write, write)

Four, three, two, one
It makes me so ambitious
My answers are judicious
Calculator never glitches
It's my mission (deh deh deh den)
I get the answer right, right
And I'll be staying up all night just to check what I write

Mathmaticious (pi, pi, pi, pi)
Mathmaticious (pi, pi, pi, pi)
Mathmaticious (pi, pi, pi, pi)
I'm Mathmaticious (d-d-d-d-d-decimal, decimal)
It's Mathmaticious (pi, pi, pi, pi)
Mathmaticious (pi, pi, pi, pi)
Mathmaticious (pi, pi, pi, pi)
I'm Mathmaticious, d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d (pi, pi, pi, pi)

I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
I divide, multiply, add, sub (four, three, two, one)

Is it whole? Rational? Factor out, substitute, solve for x
Is it whole? Rational? Factor out, substitute, solve for x
Is it whole? Rational? Factor out, substitute, solve for x
Is it whole? Rational? Factor, factor, factor (four, three, two, one)

I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
I divide, multiply, add, subtract, round off and simplify
I divide, multiply, add, sub (four, three, two, one)

Is it whole? Rational? Factor out, substitute, solve for x
Is it whole? Rational? Factor out, substitute, solve for x
Is it whole? Rational? Factor out, substitute, solve for x
Is it whole? Rational? Factor, factor, factor, factor, factor...

At first I was afraid, what could the answer be?
It said given this position find velocity.
So I tried to work it out, but I knew that I was wrong.
I struggled; I cried, "A problem shouldn't take this long!"
I tried to think, control my nerve.
It's evident that speed's tangential to that time-position curve.
This problem would be mine if I just knew that tangent line.
But what to do? Show me a sign!

So I thought back to Calculus.
Way back to Newton and to Leibniz,
And to problems just like this.
And just like that when I had given up all hope,
I said nope, there's just one way to find that slope.
And so now I, I will derive.
Find the derivative of x position with respect to time.
It's as easy as can be, just have to take dx/dt.
I will derive, I will derive. Hey, hey!

And then I went ahead to the second part.
But as I looked at it I wasn't sure quite how to start.
It was asking for the time at which velocity
Was at a maximum, and I was thinking "Woe is me."
But then I thought, this much I know.
I've gotta find acceleration, set it equal to zero.
Now if I only knew what the function was for a.
I guess I'm gonna have to solve for it someway.

So I thought back to Calculus.
Way back to Newton and to Leibniz,
And to problems just like this.
And just like that when I had given up all hope,
I said nope, there's just one way to find that slope.
And so now I, I will derive.
Find the derivative of velocity with respect to time.
It's as easy as can be, just have to take dv/dt.
I will derive, I will derive.

So I thought back to Calculus.
Way back to Newton and to Leibniz,
And to problems just like this.
And just like that when I had given up all hope,
I said nope, there's just one way to find that slope.
And so now I, I will derive.
Find the derivative of x position with respect to time.
It's as easy as can be, just have to take dx/dt.
I will derive, I will derive, I will derive!

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML